8 Signs your Motivation is Unhealthy

Business Health & Wellness Leadership Personal Growth self development Uncategorized

In the article Is your Motivation Hurting you? I shared two important types of motivation that are inconsistent, stressful and unhealthy, and the ideal balance of motivational drivers to have to accomplish your goals in a healthy, consistent and sustainable way.

This is a quick check to see if your motivation is healthy or not.

Here are 8 signs that your unconscious motivation patterns are potentially unhealthy.

  1. You are very driven and your drive is causing you stress.
  2. You are frequently unclear about what you want. You tend to defer to what your supervisor or your clients want of you.
  3. You care far too much about what others think of you. Your benchmark of success depends on what they say about you.
  4. You tend to work in fits and starts, with confusion in between.
  5. Things like looming deadlines and negative consequences are incredibly motivating to you. And you usually don’t get started unless one of these is in place.
  6. Your momentum and productivity is inconsistent.
  7. If you were the only one in the office for a week, not much would get done.
  8. You are motivated on a regular basis by one or more of the following emotions: anxiety, dread, fear, anger, revenge, terror, rage.

If you said yes to 3 or more of these signs, then you likely have some unhealthy motivation patterns running.  Either you are too extrinsically motivated or you are too avoidance/away-from motivated, or both.  

When you are too extrinsically motivated you are giving away control over how you measure your success and self-worth to others. You’re letting something or someone outside of yourself dictate how you feel about yourself. 

When you’re too avoidance motivated, you’re going through life focusing on what you don’t want.  That will just bring more of what you don’t want into your experience. What you resists persists.

Have a look as some of my coaching programs if you’d like to do something about this. 

Leave a comment below and let me know what motivates you and what you learned from this post.

Extreme Self-Care for the Holidays

Extreme Self-Care for the Holidays

Health & Wellness life balance Lifestyle Personal Growth

How to get your needs met so you can enjoy every moment

Dear Brave One,

You deserve to be relaxed, rested and fulfilled during the holidays, and it demands extreme self-care.

Who’s job is it to get your needs met?

Yes, it’s yours. Too often we have this unspoken expectation that others will know what we need and take care of it for us.  And sometimes, when that doesn’t happen, we feel resentful and bitter.  Well, not anymore…

The Holidays… Your Time!

In this little guide, I’m going to show you how to maintain your energy and your sanity during the holidays, by getting clear on your needs and planning your time to get them met!  It’s your responsibility to get your needs met.  And your life will be incredibly more fulfilling when you do!get your needs met first

We’re often so worried about being “selfish” that we neglect ourselves terribly. And the result is stress, frustration and burnout – certainly not a combination we want for the holidays.  It is your job
to be selfish because if you don’t take care of your Self, then you won’t be able to give of yourself to those around you who need you.

Strap on your seat belts and join me on this little journey…

How Do You Want to Feel?

First, get clear on how you want to feel during the holidays.  What are your desired emotions for this magical time of year?  Use the list of Emotions at www.suebowe.com/emotions-list and select your top 15 emotions, then narrow it down to 10, and then select your top 5 emotions that reflect how you want to feel during the holidays.  Write them down now.

Which Personal Needs are the Priority?

Using your top 5 feelings as your guide, and the list of Personal Needs at www.suebowe.com/needs-list, go through a selection process again, first selecting your top 15 needs, then 10, then top 5 core needs that are a priority for you this holiday season.  Write them down in a column on the left side of your paper.

Now for each of your top 5 needs, make some notes on ideas for healthy ways to meet that need, and how often you would want to have or experience each thing.  Get specific.  Here’s an example…

 

Personal Need Healthy Ways to Meet that Need How Often
Solitude

 

Luxurious epsom salts and essential oils bath with candles and music for 45 min 1 / week

 

Schedule it in Your Calendar!

Now, pull up your calendar, and schedule the blocks of time into it now, in this order:

  1. The time for the activities (above) to meet your prioritized needs daily and weekly (even if you don’t know the specific activity yet, block in the time!).
  2. One entire unstructured, unscheduled, delicious day to do whatever you spontaneously choose to do!
  3. The events you’ve committed to with family, friends, and work.

… in that order.

Protect your self-time in your calendar with a passion, and you will be happier and more pleasurable to be around!

You did it!  You’re ready to enjoy the holidays with balance, ease and grace.

Until next time, be free… and wild!

Sue

Mindfulness leads to Joy and Productivity

Mindfulness leads to Joy and Productivity

Health & Wellness Leadership Lifestyle

We are hard-pressed to find a leader, an entrepreneur, or an employee who doesn’t want to be more focused, more productive, and less stressed. We live in the most fast-paced, over-stimulated, multi-tasked time in history. And focus has never been so challenging!

In fact, during 47% of our waking hours we are thinking about something other than what we’re doing. Another way to look at this is that roughly half the time, we’re not actually focused on what we are doing. Half the time!  We won’t bother speculating on why that is, however we might surmise that if we could change it, we would.

Mindfulness is the solution.

Mindfulness is the mental state achieved when focusing one’s attention on the present moment. That means we’re not focused on the past, reviewing events, analyzing what’s taken place, or feeling bad about what’s happened.  And we’re also not focused on the future, planning our next steps, imagining what if, or feeling worry or anxiety about some future possibility.  Mindfulness is having your full attention in the moment, on whatever you are doing, feeling, saying or hearing right now.

There are many ways to practice mindfulness, one of the most common being meditation. And while thousands of corporations around the world are offering mindfulness training to their employees, there are so many different approaches, that there is still much confusion about what it is.

The benefits of mindfulness at work include

  • Improved mood and morale (increases positive emotions and reduces negative emotions)
  • Improved productivity (increases focus, changes brain regions linked to learning and memory)
  • Better teamwork (fosters compassion toward others, enhances relationships)
  • Reduced sick leave (boosts the immune system)
  • Reduced stress

The simple approach to Mindfulness that I teach is mastering the combination of relaxation and awareness, so that the mind can remain focused, clear and present. This is a skill-building process.  Learning the skill of deep relaxation and the skill of heightened awareness, while training the mind to enter these states at will, provides us with a powerful asset.  Imagine what’s possible when your mind is able to remain calm and focused, regardless of what is going on around you and what you are experiencing.  That’s the beauty of mindfulness.

Here is a simple exercise that can help you right now.  It’s called Pausing to Breathe. It takes just 2-3 minutes, and even that will be challenging for many of you.  Begin by putting your pen or your device down and turning away from any screens.  In a comfortable seated position, close your eyes and bring your attention to your breath.  Proceed to take 5 deep breaths in and out, while you keep your focus on the breath.  Notice how it feels as the air passes through your nose and mouth, how it fills up your lungs, then how it moves out as your lung push, and the feeling of the breath passing your lips or nose on the way out. Use curiosity about the breath to keep your attention on it.  And ignore distractions for the full 2 minutes.  If your mind wanders, as soon as you notice it wandering, then bring your attention back to the breath.

Do this Pausing to Breathe practice several times a day and you’ll feel refreshed, centered and more focused.

And if you would like to bring mindfulness training into your workplace or group, let me know.  I’d be happy to discuss possibilities with you.

Until next time,

Sue

How is Your Energy Intelligence?

How is Your Energy Intelligence?

Energy Health & Wellness Leadership self development

Everything in the universe is made up of energy.

Your body, the chair you are sitting on, and the air you are breathing are all forms of energy.  Science has long been studying physical energy such as those in the diagram below, and yet there is another energy that isn’t as well understood… our own body’s energy and that of those around us. Your acumen with this energy is your Energy Intelligence.Energy Intelligence includes the metaphysical - often missing in standard forms of energy diagrams

What is it that you are picking up on when you meet someone and you instantly feel repelled, or attracted?  What are you noticing when you walk into a meeting and the air is thick and you know there is a conflict and strong emotions present. And what is it that you are gauging when you know that you feel drained of energy? When you’re feeling “high energy” what is that?  What is it that you are perceiving in all these cases?

“If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.”
– Nikola Tesla

This is energy of a different kind. It is a metaphysical concept that some call a vibe, chi, an aura, or an energetic field.  We call it the Human Energy System and it includes the energy body of each person and the energy of the inter-relationships between people and groups of people.  This energy system has a huge impact on our health and well-being, as well as our ability to function day to day, so it is in our best interest to learn how to tend it well.

There are ways to recharge your energy system when you feel depleted. There are ways to strengthen your energy system so it is less affected by others. And there are ways to utilize your energy system to provide you with information, healing or general well-being. There are also ways to transmit your energy intentionally to others. The first step is to begin noticing your own energetics, and knowing when what you’re sensing is yours or someone else’s energy. You’ll soon be on your way to honing your own energy intelligence.

A few years ago, when I was recovering from burnout, I had completely retreated and minimized my contact with people because I was so energetically depleted and I needed to be alone to recharge.  Each outing into the world of people required a much longer time period alone to recuperate my energy system. With the help of some gifted healers and coaches, I was able to stop the energy leaks in my system, and learn how to allow my system to receive energy from others so that I could create a balance of energy out and energy in.  As an empath, I had unconsciously shut down the receiving flow in order to protect myself from unwanted energy from others. I had been operating with a one-way flow of energy with other people, always flowing out to them.

Our energy system is simultaneously receiving and radiating energetic information. And our ability to allow universal energy to flow through our human energy system is key to harnessing our power as co-creative beings.  Physicists will tell you that all matter is energy, vibrating at different frequencies. The basic element of reality is consciousness manifested into energy.

What are you using your energy to create right now?

There is a new intelligence awaiting your discovery… energy intelligence.

Let me know what this article brings up for you… Questions? Curiosities? Skepticism?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Until next time,

Sue

 

Why Do You Want Money?

Why Do You Want Money?

Business Health & Wellness Leadership life balance Lifestyle Personal Growth Profitability self development Uncategorized

Why do you want money?!?  Sounds like a silly question, right? Like, duh! I want money because…

How did that sentence end for you? What was your first thought?  To be happy?  To relax? To buy X? To do Y?

The fascinating thing about money is that everyone wants it, but most people don’t know truly why, or are unclear as to what it will actually get them.

Money makes the world go round

Money happens to be the vehicle of exchange in our society, and is required in order to pay for shelter, goods and services. And so, while many of us might wish that we didn’t have to deal with money, that fact is, is that it’s a necessity.

In my experience working with clients on success and fulfillment, many people are chasing more and more money believing it will make them happy, but this is a trap. Research has shown that once a person has their basic needs met, there is no correlation between more money and more happiness.

You can, in fact, train your brain to be joyful and happy regardless of your money circumstances, but that’s a blog for another time.

Joy and happiness can come indirectly from what money can help you do, be or have, but if you are not clear on what those specifics are, then happiness will elude you.  In fact, if you are chasing money for money’s sake, you will never have enough. The acquisition of the money will feel empty, without some meaningful outcome that will bring you happiness.

Now, there are always money stories that we’re carrying that are not serving us.  These need to be released and healed.

And there are always fears and doubts around money, no matter if it’s about having too much or too little.  These need to be released and healed.

Regardless of whether you are wealthy or poor, whether you have an abundance mentality or a scarcity mentality, whether your money situation is up and down like a yo-yo… unraveling your relationship with money in order to create a healthier one is life-long work; the layers run that deep.

The first task is to get clear on the impact that money will have on you. And to understand what you want to do with it to improve your life and create happiness.

What’s important to you about money?

The key question to uncover the meaning of money for you is:  What’s important to you about money?  When you uncover the deeper nuances of this question, you will know precisely what you want to create in your life with money in order to reach optimal levels of happiness and joy.

So, go ahead… Find your money-happy!

If you’d like to explore this further with us, our Money and Meaning Mastermind group starts in Aurora, Ontario on February 8th, 2016. Contact us to see if it’s a fit for you now.

And leave a comment to let me know what you find out about yourself.  What did this bring up for you?

Until then, be free… and wild,

Sue