Extreme Self-Care for the Holidays

Extreme Self-Care for the Holidays

Health & Wellness life balance Lifestyle Personal Growth

How to get your needs met so you can enjoy every moment

Dear Brave One,

You deserve to be relaxed, rested and fulfilled during the holidays, and it demands extreme self-care.

Who’s job is it to get your needs met?

Yes, it’s yours. Too often we have this unspoken expectation that others will know what we need and take care of it for us.  And sometimes, when that doesn’t happen, we feel resentful and bitter.  Well, not anymore…

The Holidays… Your Time!

In this little guide, I’m going to show you how to maintain your energy and your sanity during the holidays, by getting clear on your needs and planning your time to get them met!  It’s your responsibility to get your needs met.  And your life will be incredibly more fulfilling when you do!get your needs met first

We’re often so worried about being “selfish” that we neglect ourselves terribly. And the result is stress, frustration and burnout – certainly not a combination we want for the holidays.  It is your job
to be selfish because if you don’t take care of your Self, then you won’t be able to give of yourself to those around you who need you.

Strap on your seat belts and join me on this little journey…

How Do You Want to Feel?

First, get clear on how you want to feel during the holidays.  What are your desired emotions for this magical time of year?  Use the list of Emotions at www.suebowe.com/emotions-list and select your top 15 emotions, then narrow it down to 10, and then select your top 5 emotions that reflect how you want to feel during the holidays.  Write them down now.

Which Personal Needs are the Priority?

Using your top 5 feelings as your guide, and the list of Personal Needs at www.suebowe.com/needs-list, go through a selection process again, first selecting your top 15 needs, then 10, then top 5 core needs that are a priority for you this holiday season.  Write them down in a column on the left side of your paper.

Now for each of your top 5 needs, make some notes on ideas for healthy ways to meet that need, and how often you would want to have or experience each thing.  Get specific.  Here’s an example…

 

Personal Need Healthy Ways to Meet that Need How Often
Solitude

 

Luxurious epsom salts and essential oils bath with candles and music for 45 min 1 / week

 

Schedule it in Your Calendar!

Now, pull up your calendar, and schedule the blocks of time into it now, in this order:

  1. The time for the activities (above) to meet your prioritized needs daily and weekly (even if you don’t know the specific activity yet, block in the time!).
  2. One entire unstructured, unscheduled, delicious day to do whatever you spontaneously choose to do!
  3. The events you’ve committed to with family, friends, and work.

… in that order.

Protect your self-time in your calendar with a passion, and you will be happier and more pleasurable to be around!

You did it!  You’re ready to enjoy the holidays with balance, ease and grace.

Until next time, be free… and wild!

Sue

How to Create your Life Strategy for the New Year

How to Create your Life Strategy for the New Year

Leadership life balance Lifestyle Personal Growth self development

It’s already December and it sure did sneak up on us quickly!  Within days, we’ll be into the holiday hustle, layering in more socializing, more shopping and more preparations into our already overloaded schedule. But life continues after the holidays! When will you build you 2017 life strategy?

It may seem like a strange question, but we create a strategy for almost everything else in our lives: our career, our business, our home renovations and moves, our children’s education… but what about a strategy for your happiness and fulfillment? For your learning and growth? For your relationships?

Here’s a Life Planning exercise you can go through in one evening or afternoon over the holidays, or sooner. I strongly suggest committing to a time with your partner and/or loved ones for this, to make sure you do it.

There’s a downloadable worksheet which you can grab here (no email required) to help you capture your ideas.

  1. Set your intentions and expectations for this process. You might decide to expect it to be lighthearted and fun, and that it fosters strong bonds and more alignment in your respective visions for the future. You can also set the stage for this activity – get some chart paper and markers, gather in a comfortable place (eg. around the fireplace), and maybe have a nice bottle of wine to share. What would make it an enjoyable tradition for you and have you look forward to it every year?
  2. Mine the current year for insights and learnings. First look at where you were on January 1st and what you experienced and learned through the year. What accomplishments are you proud of? What setbacks did you face and how did you respond to them?  How does this inform what you want to create in 2017?
  3. Revisit and re-dream your vision for your life. Spend some time imagining your dream life, and making any changes to it based on what you’ve gleaned from the past year. This is the place to get into your right brain space, assume anything is possible. Spend some time in quiet reflection and stillness, listening to the small voice within – your heart and soul. You may choose to solidify your vision with images and words as a vision board.
  4. Explore each area of your life to identify what you want to aim for in the coming year. Is it having something? Doing something? Or being something? Is your intention for a feeling or an experience or a tangible item? Consider every area of your life and ask yourself: “What do I want to create in this area of my life in 2017?”

That’s it!

Of course you can get much more detailed with strategies and action plans, but this is the high level direction for your year.

Be sure to take your analytical mind offline for a while in the process to really tune in to your heart’s wishes and your soul’s desires.

If you’d like some one-on-one help with you life strategy, please consider a session (or a few) with me to get more clarity and direction.

I’d love to hear what you’re planning for 2017. Leave a comment and let me know!

Until next time, be free… and wild,

Sue

My life is awesome… why am I not happy?

My life is awesome… why am I not happy?

Business Leadership life balance Personal Growth self development

If you’re reading this line, then something struck a chord with that headline. Why aren’t you happy? There’s something amiss, and only the deepest part of you knows what it is.

You’re living an amazing life. Career, family, home, social, travel… This is the stuff dreams are made of. It doesn’t get any better than this, they say. You’re living large and working hard. There’s lots of love, laughter and people in your life.  You’re driving a nice car and proud of the neighbourhood you live in. You’re a success at work and continue to grow your net worth.

So what’s the problem?

You’re feeling disconnected and antsy. There’s a part of you that is dying inside because it’s not being heard. You’re longing for more meaning in what you do, for deeper connections with others, for a greater purpose in your actions.  It’s not enough anymore to fit in, catch up, or win against others. That yardstick isn’t important anymore.

It’s time to listen to you soul… your wildfire within.

Whose definition of an awesome life have you been living? You were probably doing what you were expected to do. And now you’re here, but this dream didn’t originate from you. You need to question the cultural norms and beliefs you’ve adopted and create your own definition of ‘awesome’.

Usually what’s missing is more meaning, in one of these ways:

  • Feeling you belong
  • Knowing you’re doing your part and truly making things better
  • Feeling a sense of purpose, or deeper meaning to your existence

Finding purpose and meaning is a life-long quest. So start now.

Life is a much more exciting adventure when we’re seeking answers to these deeper mysteries.

And along the way on your quest, it’s important to know that you can be happy at any time, in any circumstances, with the right skills. I call this the happy-anyway strategy and it relies on a practice of conscious focus on your thoughts, as well as mind-body state management techniques.

It is incredibly empowering when you realize that you can assign ANY meaning to ANY situation, simply by choice. When you master your thoughts, you master your emotions.

And this is the paradox of life:  Accepting what is, while simultaneously wanting something more.  You might as well be happy while you’re working it!

Why Do You Want Money?

Why Do You Want Money?

Business Health & Wellness Leadership life balance Lifestyle Personal Growth Profitability self development Uncategorized

Why do you want money?!?  Sounds like a silly question, right? Like, duh! I want money because…

How did that sentence end for you? What was your first thought?  To be happy?  To relax? To buy X? To do Y?

The fascinating thing about money is that everyone wants it, but most people don’t know truly why, or are unclear as to what it will actually get them.

Money makes the world go round

Money happens to be the vehicle of exchange in our society, and is required in order to pay for shelter, goods and services. And so, while many of us might wish that we didn’t have to deal with money, that fact is, is that it’s a necessity.

In my experience working with clients on success and fulfillment, many people are chasing more and more money believing it will make them happy, but this is a trap. Research has shown that once a person has their basic needs met, there is no correlation between more money and more happiness.

You can, in fact, train your brain to be joyful and happy regardless of your money circumstances, but that’s a blog for another time.

Joy and happiness can come indirectly from what money can help you do, be or have, but if you are not clear on what those specifics are, then happiness will elude you.  In fact, if you are chasing money for money’s sake, you will never have enough. The acquisition of the money will feel empty, without some meaningful outcome that will bring you happiness.

Now, there are always money stories that we’re carrying that are not serving us.  These need to be released and healed.

And there are always fears and doubts around money, no matter if it’s about having too much or too little.  These need to be released and healed.

Regardless of whether you are wealthy or poor, whether you have an abundance mentality or a scarcity mentality, whether your money situation is up and down like a yo-yo… unraveling your relationship with money in order to create a healthier one is life-long work; the layers run that deep.

The first task is to get clear on the impact that money will have on you. And to understand what you want to do with it to improve your life and create happiness.

What’s important to you about money?

The key question to uncover the meaning of money for you is:  What’s important to you about money?  When you uncover the deeper nuances of this question, you will know precisely what you want to create in your life with money in order to reach optimal levels of happiness and joy.

So, go ahead… Find your money-happy!

If you’d like to explore this further with us, our Money and Meaning Mastermind group starts in Aurora, Ontario on February 8th, 2016. Contact us to see if it’s a fit for you now.

And leave a comment to let me know what you find out about yourself.  What did this bring up for you?

Until then, be free… and wild,

Sue