8 Signs your Motivation is Unhealthy

8 Signs your Motivation is Unhealthy

Business Health & Wellness Leadership Personal Growth self development Uncategorized

In the article Is your Motivation Hurting you? I shared two important types of motivation that are inconsistent, stressful and unhealthy, and the ideal balance of motivational drivers to have to accomplish your goals in a healthy, consistent and sustainable way.

This is a quick check to see if your motivation is healthy or not.

Here are 8 signs that your unconscious motivation patterns are potentially unhealthy.

  1. You are very driven and your drive is causing you stress.
  2. You are frequently unclear about what you want. You tend to defer to what your supervisor or your clients want of you.
  3. You care far too much about what others think of you. Your benchmark of success depends on what they say about you.
  4. You tend to work in fits and starts, with confusion in between.
  5. Things like looming deadlines and negative consequences are incredibly motivating to you. And you usually don’t get started unless one of these is in place.
  6. Your momentum and productivity is inconsistent.
  7. If you were the only one in the office for a week, not much would get done.
  8. You are motivated on a regular basis by one or more of the following emotions: anxiety, dread, fear, anger, revenge, terror, rage.

If you said yes to 3 or more of these signs, then you likely have some unhealthy motivation patterns running.  Either you are too extrinsically motivated or you are too avoidance/away-from motivated, or both.

When you are too extrinsically motivated you are giving away control over how you measure your success and self-worth to others. You’re letting something or someone outside of yourself dictate how you feel about yourself.

When you’re too avoidance motivated, you’re going through life focusing on what you don’t want.  That will just bring more of what you don’t want into your experience.

What you resists persists.

Have a look as some of my coaching programs if you’d like to do something about this. I’d love to chat with you to see how I can help.

Leave a comment below and let me know what motivates you and what you learned from this post.

How to Get Un-Stuck and Create Momentum

How to Get Un-Stuck and Create Momentum

Leadership Personal Growth self development Uncategorized

It’s inevitable, really. At some point everyone experiences being stuck. It may be that you’re unable to move forward on your dream, or are stuck on a particular project, or you might be totally stuck in life. Whatever the stuck-ness is that you’re experiencing, you can shift it now to create momentum towards what you want.

If you’re ready to get moving, let’s get to it!

  1. Get Excited! Take some time imagining the details and connecting with the meaning behind what you want. Why do you want it? Be sure that what you want is reflecting your highest truth and is not influenced by others. Without a reason, there’s just no point. This is your opportunity to understand why this thing that excites you so much is truly compelling for you. Then notice how your MOTIVATION changegetting un-stuck winnie the pooh
  2. Start with Small Steps. Find the tiniest first step that you can take immediately. It might be to look something up online, or to buy a book, or to find those old notes you made and re-read them. Whatever is the smallest step you can take right now… do it! Then notice how your BELIEF changes.
  3. Celebrate each Action and Result. Before moving on, take a moment to acknowledge your accomplishment and feel good about what you’ve just done. If you want to celebrate the milestone, go right ahead. Then notice how your APPRECIATION of the journey changes.
  4. Action Several Steps in a Row. In a way that is appropriate for you, build up the size of the action steps and the rate at which you are taking action. You might take several tiny steps first before taking a larger step, or you might take several steps in one day! Aim to advance your progress as you go. Then notice how your CONFIDENCE changes.
  5. Follow your Rhythms and your Intuition. There is powerful wisdom in your body and when you follow it, your timing and inspiration will lead you to successes like never before! Your body has natural rhythms, so trust when it’s time to do certain tasks. And follow your internal nudges and ideas. These will guide you to resources you wouldn’t find otherwise. Then notice how your TRUST in yourself changes.

That’s it! It’s about focusing on the final outcome while taking action on the immediate next step.  You don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t need to know the rest of the steps… they’ll reveal themselves to you in perfect time.

Join me on the 2016 NLP: The Secret Sauce to Success Summit where I’ll be discussing specific tips and tactics for shifting from stuck to progressing on your dreams! It’s free. And you’ll have access to 11 other expert interviews. Just sign up here.

Until next time, be free… and wild.


Why Do You Want Money?

Why Do You Want Money?

Business Health & Wellness Leadership life balance Lifestyle Personal Growth Profitability self development Uncategorized

Why do you want money?!?  Sounds like a silly question, right? Like, duh! I want money because…

How did that sentence end for you? What was your first thought?  To be happy?  To relax? To buy X? To do Y?

The fascinating thing about money is that everyone wants it, but most people don’t know truly why, or are unclear as to what it will actually get them.

Money makes the world go round

Money happens to be the vehicle of exchange in our society, and is required in order to pay for shelter, goods and services. And so, while many of us might wish that we didn’t have to deal with money, that fact is, is that it’s a necessity.

In my experience working with clients on success and fulfillment, many people are chasing more and more money believing it will make them happy, but this is a trap. Research has shown that once a person has their basic needs met, there is no correlation between more money and more happiness.

You can, in fact, train your brain to be joyful and happy regardless of your money circumstances, but that’s a blog for another time.

Joy and happiness can come indirectly from what money can help you do, be or have, but if you are not clear on what those specifics are, then happiness will elude you.  In fact, if you are chasing money for money’s sake, you will never have enough. The acquisition of the money will feel empty, without some meaningful outcome that will bring you happiness.

Now, there are always money stories that we’re carrying that are not serving us.  These need to be released and healed.

And there are always fears and doubts around money, no matter if it’s about having too much or too little.  These need to be released and healed.

Regardless of whether you are wealthy or poor, whether you have an abundance mentality or a scarcity mentality, whether your money situation is up and down like a yo-yo… unraveling your relationship with money in order to create a healthier one is life-long work; the layers run that deep.

The first task is to get clear on the impact that money will have on you. And to understand what you want to do with it to improve your life and create happiness.

What’s important to you about money?

The key question to uncover the meaning of money for you is:  What’s important to you about money?  When you uncover the deeper nuances of this question, you will know precisely what you want to create in your life with money in order to reach optimal levels of happiness and joy.

So, go ahead… Find your money-happy!

If you’d like to explore this further with us, our Money and Meaning Mastermind group starts in Aurora, Ontario on February 8th, 2016. Contact us to see if it’s a fit for you now.

And leave a comment to let me know what you find out about yourself.  What did this bring up for you?

Until then, be free… and wild,


Are You Leading From Your Values?

Are You Leading From Your Values?

Leadership Uncategorized

As a business owner, when do you get a performance review?

It may sound like a strange question, but it’s worth considering.  In the entrepreneurial world, we don’t have a supervisor who will give us regular feedback on our performance. What do you use to monitor your leadership performance? Which business metrics will have you take a hard look at yourself to find the source of the results in your business? Sometimes these metrics will tell you that you need to change how you’re leading your business.

All learning, behaviour and change is unconscious.  That is, the unconscious part of our minds digests learning, drives behaviour and initiates the change that we seek.  We may well consciously set a goal and take action on that goal, but our unconscious mind is running patterns and programs that affect that action, far beneath our conscious awareness.   Values-based leadership is the process of making the unconscious, conscious.  Then once the new, desired patterns are created, we can allow the unconscious to run them once again, so that we don’t need to expend valuable time or energy on them.

Values and Beliefs drive Performance

Values and beliefs drive behaviour, and behaviour drives performance.  If we want to increase performance, the most effective and sustainable way to do that is by aligning with, or shifting, values.  And values are the most unconscious of our unconscious programs.  Two of the prime directives of the unconscious mind are to store memories and to store values and beliefs.  In order to change behaviour and performance in a lasting way, we need to uncover our personal values to work with them.

Values-based leadership is a competency.  When our values are out of our awareness, we’re operating in unconscious incompetence.  We then uncover our values from deep within our psyche, and determine which values that are not serving us and which values are absent that are needed to achieve our goals, as we move into conscious incompetence.

As we choose new values and identify missing values that are needed to reach our goals, we enter conscious competence. Using the power of the unconscious mind we can swiftly insert the new values and/or change the hierarchy of our values to align with reaching our goals, and then new behaviours will be generated immediately and we move into unconscious competence in values-based leadership.

Decision-making is Unconscious

Decision-making is a great example of an unconscious program at work.  In early times, people made decisions based on instinct.  Survival depended on instinct-based decisions that were undoubtedly at the unconscious level.  As humanity evolved, we began making decision based on beliefs – again, unconscious programs.  Belief-based decision making is focused on beliefs that were formed by past experience.  When x happened, then y was the result, therefore I believe that x causes y, so I base my decision on this knowledge.

Values-based decisions are not concerned with what has happened in the past, and they require a conscious pause in order to prevent falling into default (belief-based decision) mode.  A values-based leader asks “What is the choice that will be in greatest alignment with our core values?” and in doing so, opens up to new possibilities that are not based on the past.  Values-based decisions are expansive, innovative and serve to create the future that is wanted.

The next time you review your business metrics, ask yourself how your core values and beliefs are driving that result.

Making the unconscious, conscious through values-based leadership is the key to high performance.

Is Your Wildfire Calling?

Is Your Wildfire Calling?


Dear Sisters,

Do you get the sense you’re meant to be doing something more?  I don’t mean adding more meaningless stuff to your plate, I mean something More with a capital M.  Something special.  Something great.  Which is entirely different than most
of what you’re doing now which is already too much.

It’s so easy to get caught up in life – a busy life –juggling a career, kids and a household.  Life gets really full really fast. But is it really full with the things that really matter to you?  For many of us – if we’re brave enough to be truthful with ourselves – it’s not.

We’re working so hard in life that we forget why we’re working so hard.  What is it exactly that we’re striving so hard for?

Perhaps you’re aware of something deep inside that’s calling you to shine in a new way, to use your special gifts and talents to make the world a better place.  This calling is your wildfire within, and it may be just a flicker, an ember, or it may have blown out altogether and needs to be re-ignited.

The wildfire is calling you to fan the flames of passion and desire, with budding excitement for what you can create and the impact you can have.  It is calling you to step out of your comfort zone and do something different, that carries the promise of possibility.  And it is calling you draw your bow, aim your arrow, and make your mark in the world.

If you know, dear sister, that you need to make time for what matters, so that you can create meaningful balance and a bigger impact in the world, then you’ll want to get my complementary report Mastering the Moment Tips for Time-Starved Women.

As always, I welcome your feedback. Please leave a link back to your own blog too if you have one, via the commentluv feature right here on the site.

Until next time, be resilient.


Do I Have a Life That’s Good?

Do I Have a Life That’s Good?

Lifestyle Personal Growth self development Uncategorized

Fall is a wonderful time to reflect on things. Back-to-School feels like a new year, and the Equinox asks us to honour the balance of light and dark in the world. So while the plants are pulling their energy down into their roots for a regenerative winter, I like to express gratitude for everything that contributes to a life that’s good.

Sometimes we can get caught up in seeking goals and material possessions that we think we want, but we want them for the wrong reasons.  We think they’ll make us happy, but often these acquisitions offer short term pleasure and we’re quickly looking for the next fix, whereas what we really need is fulfillment and satisfaction at a deeper level.

This video by one of my favourite artists, Sarah Blackwood of Walk of the Earth, is a gentle reminder that it’s the simple things – two arms around me, a roof over my head, four wheels to get there, a family who always calls me home – that really make a life that’s good.

Questions to consider… Do I Have A Life That’s Good?

  • Do I feel a sense of belonging and love in my home, in my community, and at work?
  • Am I making a difference in the work that I do and the people that I impact?
  • Do I have my priorities in order and in line with my values? (family, friends, passion, fun, health, etc)
  • Am I growing and stretching into a better version of me each and every day?
  • Am I meeting my needs and living within my means? (meeting basic needs without debt, and with some leftover for fun and enjoyment)

If you’re satisfied with your answers to these questions, then I invite you to celebrate and pat yourself on the back for creating a life that’s good.

If not, then decide on one thing you can do immediately to change it, no matter how small that action might be.

As always, I welcome your feedback. Please leave a link back to your own blog too if you have one, via the commentluv feature right here on the site.

Until next time, be resilient.


The Power of Things

The Power of Things


Most of us think that we own our material possessions, but the reality is: Our stuff owns us!

A friend recently told me that she and her husband were putting their house up for sale.  It seemed a surprise to me as they had only lived there for 2 years.  When I asked why, Laura’s response was, “I’m being held hostage by my house.  It’s lovely and big, with more than enough space for the kids and Marc and I, but we spend far too much time with the upkeep: cleaning and maintaining it!”

Sadly in this age of “gotta have it!” and “bigger is better!”, we are acquiring more stuff at an alarming rate.  Think about the impact these things have on us… we have more gadgets to keep track of, more manuals and technology to learn, we pay for storage space beyond our homes to store what we can’t bear to give away, and we spend a significant portion of our time maintaining what we have.  How much of your “free time”, or hard-earned dollars, do you spend backing up your laptop or smartphone, cutting the grass, fixing up the cottage, getting an oil change, stopping at the dry cleaners, re-furnishing, painting, accessorizing, and renovating?

And old friend wrote me this note in an email conversation a few weeks ago and he sums it up nicely…

“Unfortunately we get wise way too late in life. I have finally realized at age 64 (albeit way too late) that the assets we possess actually own us – they possess us, not the other way around. From the moment we own any particular asset, whether it be a house, a car, a cottage, a boat (large or small), even a simply bicycle, we then spend all our waking time and money hiring people to fix our “stuff”; we pump endless fuel into our “stuff” (boats; cars; houses; cottages; etc.). We get in our car to drive to our boat or our cottage which in turn inhales more gas, our time, wear and tear on our bodies and stress among those we love.

I am at a stage in my life where I have just donated (with a modest payment “sometime” in the future!!) my large boat to my sister. I literally have zero interest in ever seeing it, I couldn’t be bothered to drive down at all this summer to even look at it. I am at a point where I am seriously considering boarding up my place on Kasshabog Lake (I have had it for sale for a month or so and not one interested person). Every time I go there something else breaks or ceases to function and I spend days and days chasing people to get things fixed and nobody wants or is interested in getting work. My Mercedes is so complicated I hate to take it out anywhere and I crave the old Model T Ford with a gas pedal and a small engine and one gear. I think the world has hit a point where everything is so complicated, we are in a “throw-away” society and we cannot get anything fixed anymore and everything we own or anything we do required pulling up to a gas pump and $100 later…”