Who Are You When You Retire?

Who Are You When You Retire?

Business Lifestyle Retirement self development

Well it was bound to happen. The boomers are booming. Statistics Canada reports that a full one third of working Canadians will retire in the next 5 years. More and more of the business owners I meet are wanting to plan how they are going to exit their business as their retirement approaches, and they are wise to be planning ahead!

The main question for a business owner is, “Do I want to sell it, close it, or pass it on to a family member?” And the decisions and action plans are different depending on this overall objective.

Yet the bigger issue that would-be retirees face is what they are going to do, or be, once they retire. Because our identity is so connected to our work or business, it can be difficult to feel confident in our own skin when we are no longer in the work world.

Who am I when I’m not working?

Planning for retirement has traditionally involved financial and lifestyle changes, however there are other self-awareness and psychological issues to address as well.

Here are 4 important issues that need attention as you approach retirement…

Connections, Groups and Affiliations

It’s important to have communities and interests that you love outside the home BEFORE you retire, so that the sudden abundance of time can be filled in part, with things and people you are passionate about.  If you’ve been working so hard you’ve forgotten what you’re passionate about, then you have more self-exploration to do in preparation for retirement.

Productivity and Impact

Knowing how you want to make a ripple in the world after your work life ends is also important.  We can fill our retirement days with fun and leisure but at some point, we’re going to feel the itch to be productive.  This might be in the creative arts, or it could be through volunteering, or perhaps it’s the legacy you leave by being a caregiving influence in your grandchildren’s lives.

Align your Intimate Relationship

Long before you reach retirement you will need to create a shared vision with your spouse or partner. Inevitably your individual dreams are going to differ, and, there is always a way, if you’re willing to find it, to have those dreams to harmonize into a joint future that you can build together.

Freedom to Be Whoever you Want to Be

When the expectations of the work world are behind you, and you’re facing the final phase of life we call elderhood, what is it that you need to give yourself permission to do, be or have, that you never allowed yourself before?!  Will you be that eccentric renaissance man, or that cheeky, tell-it-like-it-is hip grandma, or will you simply wear something previously considered ‘outrageous’ and walk around town not caring two hoots what anyone else thinks?  Why would you do this?!  For the sheer joy and freedom of expressing your true nature!  And because we live most of our lives conforming to other people’s rules about right and wrong, and the final third of our lives is the last chance to shed all that and finally be who we really are!

So, dear Wild Ones, I ask you this:

What is it that you need to let go of in order to be free to enjoy your retirement?

Post a comment here and let me know your answer. Or contact me for a conversation about how I can help you create more Meaning and Fulfillment.

Until next time, be free and wild,

Sue

What Kind of Power do you Hunger For? Part 1

What Kind of Power do you Hunger For? Part 1

Business Leadership Personal Growth self development

Power is such a fascinating thing.  Most of us are familiar with the hunger for external power in the world, which is acquired using influence, authority, rewards and consequences.  This type of power over another is used as a means of control, and more often than we’d like to admit, with manipulation and fear.  This power-over model can be abused and misused, stifling those who are under the influence of the person using the power-over strategies.

Another type of power is personal power: the strength and confidence to stand up for yourself and for something you believe in, the clarity of purpose of your impact in the world, and the freedom to be more fully who you really are. Personal power gives you the feeling that you are in charge of your actions and your life, and that you have the power to create the changes you want to see.

Notice that power-over is only in relation to another; it does not exist without the other.  Whereas personal power exists independently of others… as empowerment.

How would you like to be able to feel more empowered, deliberately, immediately with just a few small actions?

Would it be useful to you to be able to reverse the draining dynamics between you and others you find challenging to deal with in your life?

All of this and more is possible when you follow these life-changing secrets to reclaiming your personal power:  Know what you want and what you stand for, take responsibility for your results, get your needs met and keep your energy reservoir overflowing, and set personal boundaries.

Where do you feel most challenged in claiming your personal power?

Read Part 2 of this blog where we take a look at the key signs that you’re giving your power away.

 

Until next time,

Sue

 

Clearing Out Your Unresolved Past: The 2nd Requisite for Change

Clearing Out Your Unresolved Past: The 2nd Requisite for Change

Leadership Personal Growth

Have you ever noticed how the tiniest little thing will sometimes cause you to overreact? Or have you ever become aware of a belief that you’ve held since childhood, that is not serving your highest good?  These are examples of unresolved past issues that are conflicting with your ability to become and achieve all that you want.  As discussed in The 1st Requisite for Change, we first have to get crystal clear about what it is that we want, in order to successfully create change. Negative emotions have a purpose – they are telling us that something needs our attention.  In the present moment this is very useful.  When I notice that I’m feeling irritated, or mad, this feeling is a signal to me that proper boundaries need to be maintained or rebuilt. When we feel anger, we need to ask ourselves, “What must be protected or restored?”. Often, though, we can feel a strong negative emotion that is unwarranted or inappropriate for the situation.  In this case, we’re being triggered by unresolved emotions from the past.  The Unconscious Mind holds on to emotions from past events because there’s still something to learn that wasn’t learned at the time.  This is our emotional baggage… every time we didn’t get the message or the learning from the emotion, the unresolved emotion went into our bag that we carry around with us day in and day out. We also carry limiting beliefs in our baggage.  Like “I can’t _________ (you fill in the blank). When did you decide to believe that? Remember the time when your mean older sister told you at age 6 that you couldn’t sing and so you decided to believe that and never uttered another note again!  These Limiting Decisions are also stored in the Unconscious Mind and directly affect our behaviour and of course our results. The Unconscious Mind will gladly release the limiting decisions and the unresolved emotions when we go back to get the learning from these past events. But guess what?! You don’t need to wallow in the emotion of that past event to process the learning!  In fact, when we use Time Line Therapy® techniques to remove past negative emotions and limiting decisions, the experience is essentially content-free.  And it’s fast! We release Anger, Sadness, Fear, Hurt and Guilt and several limiting decisions in about 45 minutes.  This process is included in the Personal Leadership Breakthrough program. Resolving the inner conflicts from the past is the 2nd Requisite for Change.  Without removing limiting decisions and unresolved negative emotions, we are hindering our ability to create the changes that we want for ourselves.  Post a comment on your experiences with clearing out your unresolved past!

A New Kind of Leader

A New Kind of Leader

Leadership Personal Growth

“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”

Albert Einstein

For some reason this quote has been ringing in my ears as I look at the world we’re living in with birds dropping dead out of the sky, extreme weather patterns wreaking havoc around the globe,

economic volatility unlike anything we’ve seen in our lifetimes, and soaring fuel and food prices.  More than ever before, a new kind of leadership is being called for to get us through or we’re surely not going to make it… succumbing to the ironic fate of our own species’ making.

It will be the unconventional and unofficial leaders that will emerge to make a difference, challenge the status quo, dare to share a new dream.  Because so many of the designated leaders are blinded and bound by the system in which they operate, they can’t remove themselves sufficiently to get a realistic view of the situation.

These challenging times call for full spectrum leaders, according to Richard Barrett, world renowned for his cultural transformation tools and seven levels of consciousness model. Solving today’s problems requires a higher level of consciousness than that which created the problems to begin with.

So as you go about your day or week, as you make choices and decisions, try making them not from your past experiences or from your beliefs (which are often limiting in possibilities) but rather make your decisions from your personal values.  What choice is most in alignment with my values and therefore my aspirations and vision for the future?  THAT is how we create the future anew, without the shackles of past experiences and beliefs that constrain us.

I highly recommend Richard Barrett’s latest project – more than a book; a learning system – called The New Leadership Paradigm: http://tnlp.valuescentre.com/

What do you notice is different when you make values-based decisions, rather than business-as-usual decisions?

5 Ways to Re-focus on What Matters

5 Ways to Re-focus on What Matters

Personal Growth

Rainy weekends provide a wonderful opportunity to pause and reflect on life.  But why wait for dreary weather to take stock of your personal situation.  I encourage you to you take some time now, regardless of when you’ve last done it (if ever!), to reflect, re-assess and re-align your direction.  Without this effort, your direction may not be clear and goals never realized.

Here are some ways to do this:

  1. What course correction is needed in my life right now?  Based on all the new information and experiences and learning since you took a pause and reflected on things last, what needs to change to make sure you are tracking on target once again?  A full review of all areas of your life is in order once in a while to identify adjustments that might be needed on the plan.
  2. Where have I stopped honouring my boundaries (that is, my values and beliefs)?  As time goes on, sometimes we let our boundaries slide, and then we find ourselves in a situation that is uncomfortable, frustrating or downright ugly.  Often this is a direct result of not honouring our own boundaries.  Now is a great to ask, “where did I say ‘yes’ when I should have said ‘no’?” and, “what truth do I need to communicate in order to honour my Self?”.  An example might be, “I am not willing to be around people who are chronic complainers.”
  3. What do I want?  So often we forget how to allow our ‘wanter’ to be activated, by believing something unattainable, too much work, or a pipe dream.  But every now and then it’s good to let those lost dreams bubble up, to play with them and adjust them until we gain some new clarity about that positive future outcome that we’d just love to create.  So pause and ask yourself, “What do I really want? really?” “And where have I settled with less than I want?”
  4. What’s the first step I need to take? Backtracking from that exciting dream or goal, what are the milestones that need to occur back to now?  It’s far easier to figure out the immediate next step if we work backwards from the final outcome and identify the milestones needed to be achieved back to the present.
  5. What’s holding me back?  Really, what’s getting in the way?  What gets me stuck?  And what support do I need to get through or around the obstacle to get back on track? Sometimes the thing that’s in the way is removed simply in the process of identifying it.  Other times, some work is required to uncover the root cause and to devise a solution.

I wish you all the best as you re-align your life towards more of what matters most and more enjoyment and success.

How do you keep you life on track?  Please share!