Extreme Self-Care for the Holidays

Extreme Self-Care for the Holidays

Health & Wellness life balance Lifestyle Personal Growth

How to get your needs met so you can enjoy every moment

Dear Brave One,

You deserve to be relaxed, rested and fulfilled during the holidays, and it demands extreme self-care.

Who’s job is it to get your needs met?

Yes, it’s yours. Too often we have this unspoken expectation that others will know what we need and take care of it for us.  And sometimes, when that doesn’t happen, we feel resentful and bitter.  Well, not anymore…

The Holidays… Your Time!

In this little guide, I’m going to show you how to maintain your energy and your sanity during the holidays, by getting clear on your needs and planning your time to get them met!  It’s your responsibility to get your needs met.  And your life will be incredibly more fulfilling when you do!get your needs met first

We’re often so worried about being “selfish” that we neglect ourselves terribly. And the result is stress, frustration and burnout – certainly not a combination we want for the holidays.  It is your job
to be selfish because if you don’t take care of your Self, then you won’t be able to give of yourself to those around you who need you.

Strap on your seat belts and join me on this little journey…

How Do You Want to Feel?

First, get clear on how you want to feel during the holidays.  What are your desired emotions for this magical time of year?  Use the list of Emotions at www.suebowe.com/emotions-list and select your top 15 emotions, then narrow it down to 10, and then select your top 5 emotions that reflect how you want to feel during the holidays.  Write them down now.

Which Personal Needs are the Priority?

Using your top 5 feelings as your guide, and the list of Personal Needs at www.suebowe.com/needs-list, go through a selection process again, first selecting your top 15 needs, then 10, then top 5 core needs that are a priority for you this holiday season.  Write them down in a column on the left side of your paper.

Now for each of your top 5 needs, make some notes on ideas for healthy ways to meet that need, and how often you would want to have or experience each thing.  Get specific.  Here’s an example…


Personal Need Healthy Ways to Meet that Need How Often


Luxurious epsom salts and essential oils bath with candles and music for 45 min 1 / week


Schedule it in Your Calendar!

Now, pull up your calendar, and schedule the blocks of time into it now, in this order:

  1. The time for the activities (above) to meet your prioritized needs daily and weekly (even if you don’t know the specific activity yet, block in the time!).
  2. One entire unstructured, unscheduled, delicious day to do whatever you spontaneously choose to do!
  3. The events you’ve committed to with family, friends, and work.

… in that order.

Protect your self-time in your calendar with a passion, and you will be happier and more pleasurable to be around!

You did it!  You’re ready to enjoy the holidays with balance, ease and grace.

Until next time, be free… and wild!


The Power of Things

The Power of Things


Most of us think that we own our material possessions, but the reality is: Our stuff owns us!

A friend recently told me that she and her husband were putting their house up for sale.  It seemed a surprise to me as they had only lived there for 2 years.  When I asked why, Laura’s response was, “I’m being held hostage by my house.  It’s lovely and big, with more than enough space for the kids and Marc and I, but we spend far too much time with the upkeep: cleaning and maintaining it!”

Sadly in this age of “gotta have it!” and “bigger is better!”, we are acquiring more stuff at an alarming rate.  Think about the impact these things have on us… we have more gadgets to keep track of, more manuals and technology to learn, we pay for storage space beyond our homes to store what we can’t bear to give away, and we spend a significant portion of our time maintaining what we have.  How much of your “free time”, or hard-earned dollars, do you spend backing up your laptop or smartphone, cutting the grass, fixing up the cottage, getting an oil change, stopping at the dry cleaners, re-furnishing, painting, accessorizing, and renovating?

And old friend wrote me this note in an email conversation a few weeks ago and he sums it up nicely…

“Unfortunately we get wise way too late in life. I have finally realized at age 64 (albeit way too late) that the assets we possess actually own us – they possess us, not the other way around. From the moment we own any particular asset, whether it be a house, a car, a cottage, a boat (large or small), even a simply bicycle, we then spend all our waking time and money hiring people to fix our “stuff”; we pump endless fuel into our “stuff” (boats; cars; houses; cottages; etc.). We get in our car to drive to our boat or our cottage which in turn inhales more gas, our time, wear and tear on our bodies and stress among those we love.

I am at a stage in my life where I have just donated (with a modest payment “sometime” in the future!!) my large boat to my sister. I literally have zero interest in ever seeing it, I couldn’t be bothered to drive down at all this summer to even look at it. I am at a point where I am seriously considering boarding up my place on Kasshabog Lake (I have had it for sale for a month or so and not one interested person). Every time I go there something else breaks or ceases to function and I spend days and days chasing people to get things fixed and nobody wants or is interested in getting work. My Mercedes is so complicated I hate to take it out anywhere and I crave the old Model T Ford with a gas pedal and a small engine and one gear. I think the world has hit a point where everything is so complicated, we are in a “throw-away” society and we cannot get anything fixed anymore and everything we own or anything we do required pulling up to a gas pump and $100 later…”