My life is awesome… why am I not happy?

My life is awesome… why am I not happy?

Business Leadership life balance Personal Growth self development

If you’re reading this line, then something struck a chord with that headline. Why aren’t you happy? There’s something amiss, and only the deepest part of you knows what it is.

You’re living an amazing life. Career, family, home, social, travel… This is the stuff dreams are made of. It doesn’t get any better than this, they say. You’re living large and working hard. There’s lots of love, laughter and people in your life.  You’re driving a nice car and proud of the neighbourhood you live in. You’re a success at work and continue to grow your net worth.

So what’s the problem?

You’re feeling disconnected and antsy. There’s a part of you that is dying inside because it’s not being heard. You’re longing for more meaning in what you do, for deeper connections with others, for a greater purpose in your actions.  It’s not enough anymore to fit in, catch up, or win against others. That yardstick isn’t important anymore.

It’s time to listen to you soul… your wildfire within.

Whose definition of an awesome life have you been living? You were probably doing what you were expected to do. And now you’re here, but this dream didn’t originate from you. You need to question the cultural norms and beliefs you’ve adopted and create your own definition of ‘awesome’.

Usually what’s missing is more meaning, in one of these ways:

  • Feeling you belong
  • Knowing you’re doing your part and truly making things better
  • Feeling a sense of purpose, or deeper meaning to your existence

Finding purpose and meaning is a life-long quest. So start now.

Life is a much more exciting adventure when we’re seeking answers to these deeper mysteries.

And along the way on your quest, it’s important to know that you can be happy at any time, in any circumstances, with the right skills. I call this the happy-anyway strategy and it relies on a practice of conscious focus on your thoughts, as well as mind-body state management techniques.

It is incredibly empowering when you realize that you can assign ANY meaning to ANY situation, simply by choice. When you master your thoughts, you master your emotions.

And this is the paradox of life:  Accepting what is, while simultaneously wanting something more.  You might as well be happy while you’re working it!

Why Do You Want Money?

Why Do You Want Money?

Business Health & Wellness Leadership life balance Lifestyle Personal Growth Profitability self development Uncategorized

Why do you want money?!?  Sounds like a silly question, right? Like, duh! I want money because…

How did that sentence end for you? What was your first thought?  To be happy?  To relax? To buy X? To do Y?

The fascinating thing about money is that everyone wants it, but most people don’t know truly why, or are unclear as to what it will actually get them.

Money makes the world go round

Money happens to be the vehicle of exchange in our society, and is required in order to pay for shelter, goods and services. And so, while many of us might wish that we didn’t have to deal with money, that fact is, is that it’s a necessity.

In my experience working with clients on success and fulfillment, many people are chasing more and more money believing it will make them happy, but this is a trap. Research has shown that once a person has their basic needs met, there is no correlation between more money and more happiness.

You can, in fact, train your brain to be joyful and happy regardless of your money circumstances, but that’s a blog for another time.

Joy and happiness can come indirectly from what money can help you do, be or have, but if you are not clear on what those specifics are, then happiness will elude you.  In fact, if you are chasing money for money’s sake, you will never have enough. The acquisition of the money will feel empty, without some meaningful outcome that will bring you happiness.

Now, there are always money stories that we’re carrying that are not serving us.  These need to be released and healed.

And there are always fears and doubts around money, no matter if it’s about having too much or too little.  These need to be released and healed.

Regardless of whether you are wealthy or poor, whether you have an abundance mentality or a scarcity mentality, whether your money situation is up and down like a yo-yo… unraveling your relationship with money in order to create a healthier one is life-long work; the layers run that deep.

The first task is to get clear on the impact that money will have on you. And to understand what you want to do with it to improve your life and create happiness.

What’s important to you about money?

The key question to uncover the meaning of money for you is:  What’s important to you about money?  When you uncover the deeper nuances of this question, you will know precisely what you want to create in your life with money in order to reach optimal levels of happiness and joy.

So, go ahead… Find your money-happy!

If you’d like to explore this further with us, our Money and Meaning Mastermind group starts in Aurora, Ontario on February 8th, 2016. Contact us to see if it’s a fit for you now.

And leave a comment to let me know what you find out about yourself.  What did this bring up for you?

Until then, be free… and wild,

Sue

Who Are You When You Retire?

Who Are You When You Retire?

Business Lifestyle Retirement self development

Well it was bound to happen. The boomers are booming. Statistics Canada reports that a full one third of working Canadians will retire in the next 5 years. More and more of the business owners I meet are wanting to plan how they are going to exit their business as their retirement approaches, and they are wise to be planning ahead!

The main question for a business owner is, “Do I want to sell it, close it, or pass it on to a family member?” And the decisions and action plans are different depending on this overall objective.

Yet the bigger issue that would-be retirees face is what they are going to do, or be, once they retire. Because our identity is so connected to our work or business, it can be difficult to feel confident in our own skin when we are no longer in the work world.

Who am I when I’m not working?

Planning for retirement has traditionally involved financial and lifestyle changes, however there are other self-awareness and psychological issues to address as well.

Here are 4 important issues that need attention as you approach retirement…

Connections, Groups and Affiliations

It’s important to have communities and interests that you love outside the home BEFORE you retire, so that the sudden abundance of time can be filled in part, with things and people you are passionate about.  If you’ve been working so hard you’ve forgotten what you’re passionate about, then you have more self-exploration to do in preparation for retirement.

Productivity and Impact

Knowing how you want to make a ripple in the world after your work life ends is also important.  We can fill our retirement days with fun and leisure but at some point, we’re going to feel the itch to be productive.  This might be in the creative arts, or it could be through volunteering, or perhaps it’s the legacy you leave by being a caregiving influence in your grandchildren’s lives.

Align your Intimate Relationship

Long before you reach retirement you will need to create a shared vision with your spouse or partner. Inevitably your individual dreams are going to differ, and, there is always a way, if you’re willing to find it, to have those dreams to harmonize into a joint future that you can build together.

Freedom to Be Whoever you Want to Be

When the expectations of the work world are behind you, and you’re facing the final phase of life we call elderhood, what is it that you need to give yourself permission to do, be or have, that you never allowed yourself before?!  Will you be that eccentric renaissance man, or that cheeky, tell-it-like-it-is hip grandma, or will you simply wear something previously considered ‘outrageous’ and walk around town not caring two hoots what anyone else thinks?  Why would you do this?!  For the sheer joy and freedom of expressing your true nature!  And because we live most of our lives conforming to other people’s rules about right and wrong, and the final third of our lives is the last chance to shed all that and finally be who we really are!

So, dear Wild Ones, I ask you this:

What is it that you need to let go of in order to be free to enjoy your retirement?

Post a comment here and let me know your answer. Or contact me for a conversation about how I can help you create more Meaning and Fulfillment.

Until next time, be free and wild,

Sue