The 3 Secrets to Positive Thinking

The 3 Secrets to Positive Thinking

Business Leadership Personal Growth self development

I thought it might be helpful to share 3 secrets to positive thinking, because everyone wants to be happy.  Everyone likes to be around positive people.  Everyone likes a happy ending.

So why is there so much focus on doom and gloom in the world?  The news is all about crime, disasters and war.  Bosses and teachers talk about what’s wrong with the work but rarely what is good.  People are filled with fear and dread, and are living their lives wondering when the other shoe is going to drop, or “what next?!”.

It takes focus and determination to avoid being sucked in to the negativity around you.  And sometimes you forget that…

You are always at choice about how you think and feel.

And you can choose to think positively any time.

  1. AIM. Know what you want.  It feels good to get clear on what you want.  Often we know what we don’t want, but we don’t take the next steps to say, “if not that, then what?”.  We experience contrast every day that can be used to get clearer and clearer on our dreams and goals.  Whenever you notice something you don’t want, turn it into a new detail about what you do want.  Aim.
  2. ENERGIZE. Choose your thoughts using your emotions.  Use your emotional guidance system to tell you when to change your thinking.  If it feels bad, let the thought go.  If it feels good, focus on it. Daydream about what you want, as often as you can, so that your positive emotions will drive your behavior toward what you want.
  3. BELIEVE. Expect it.  Set the intention for it.  Believe it will be.  Expect it to happen any moment.  The anticipation is not only fun, but it feels good too.  Some people don’t want to get their hopes up in case they end up disappointed, but then they spend the entire time being negative about it.  Wouldn’t it be better to get excited and believe and anticipate it, until it arrives?

So, go ahead, turn that negative thought into a positive one and enjoy yourself.

Life’s more fun that way!

Let me know what you think! I would love your feedback. And don’t forget to leave a link back to your own blog too if you have one via the commentluv feature here on the site.

Until then, be resilient.

Sue

Are You Hiding Your Truth?

Are You Hiding Your Truth?

Business Leadership Personal Growth self development

We human beings are notorious for skirting around the truth.  We are so concerned with ‘keeping the peace’ and wanting everyone to like us, that we completely give away our personal power by hiding our truth.

“I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself?” 

Oriah Mountain Dreamer, The Invitation

Because if we can’t live our truth then what are we living?  Someone else’s expectations.  Our own “shoulds”.  Society’s drone norms.

You are meant to live your truth.  In its highest form. Which will be constantly evolving as you expand.

When you live your truth, you must also speak it.  And that truth may not be popular. It may not be pretty or neat or easy to swallow.

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Our Most Powerful Hidden Asset – The Unconscious Mind

Our Most Powerful Hidden Asset – The Unconscious Mind

Business Leadership Personal Growth self development

Have you heard that you have an unconscious mind? I teach my clients how to utilize the most powerful hidden asset that we have… the unconscious mind.  It is responsible for our actions and behaviour, and takes care of our body’s autonomic functions while we focus on other things. In fact, this best-kept-secret-to-getting-the-results-you-want is the single biggest factor in driving the results you get in your life.  So when clients come to me stuck in their stuff, missing the mark, and repeating old patterns, I tell them to “Use your mind… not that mind, the other mind!”

The unconscious mind makes up 90% of your mind’s capacity!  And it drives your behaviour!

Your Conscious Mind is the goal-setter and

your Unconscious Mind is the goal-getter

Wouldn’t it be useful to know how to leverage this part of your mind so you can get the results you really want?

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How Well do you Share Your Emotions?

How Well do you Share Your Emotions?

Business Leadership Personal Growth self development

How well do you share your emotions? When the end of your life is near and you are on your deathbed, will you have regrets?

Bronnie Ware wrote a book about what she learned from being a palliative care nurse for years called “Top Five Regrets of the Dying”, and one of those regrets struck a chord with me…

I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings

Because I see clients every week who have shunned, ignored and repressed their emotions, to the point where they are not expressing themselves truly or fully in the world.

Our society doesn’t like emotion. We teach our children to ‘buck up’ and ‘don’t cry’.  It’s considered inappropriate to show anger at work, even when it’s justified.  It’s not acceptable to be afraid, and we are all expected to feel guilty all the time.

Women who show too little emotion are “bitches” and the ladies who express too much emotion are labelled as “too emotional”.  Men are taught not to show fear or sadness at all, and only moderate amounts of anger are allowed.

Healthy emotional strategies are simply not understood and not taught to us as we are growing up, so we see all manner of emotional blind spots that are holding us back as adults. In addition, all of this repressed emotional energy has to go somewhere, and when it isn’t expressed in healthy natural ways, it shows up as dis-ease in the body; chronic pain and other ailments are the result of bottled up emotion. So…

I challenge you to tell someone how you really feel. Today.

And if you would like to get to strengthen your emotional foundation, you’ll want to know about the Resilient Mindset self-study program: Take Charge of Your Mind and Your Emotions to Secure your Bouncebackability.

I’d love your feedback! And don’t forget to leave a link back to your own blog too if you have one via the commentluv feature here on the site.

Until next time,

Sue

 

5 Ways to Know that You Don’t Need a Coach

5 Ways to Know that You Don’t Need a Coach

Business Leadership Personal Growth self development

Do you ever wonder if you need a coach? I thought it might be simpler to share 5 ways to know that you don’t need a coach rather than all the reasons why you might need one.  You see…

I often get asked “What is it that you do exactly?”

And my typical response;

“I work with mission-focused conscious leaders to strengthen their personal foundation through mental and emotional resilience, so they can make a bigger impact in the world and navigate uncertainty with joy, purpose and grace.”

… is sometimes met with the question, “How do I know if I need that?”

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Why Stay in Your Comfort Zone Where You’re Being Less?

Why Stay in Your Comfort Zone Where You’re Being Less?

Business Leadership Personal Growth self development

We are creatures of comfort you know. It’s human nature to find the easiest way and to create contentment and coziness, so that we can relax into what we’re familiar with.  And yet, when we stay in this place all the time, we’re missing out on so many opportunities.  And you may be surprised to hear that it takes more effort to stay here because we are resisting the natural flow of life that wants us to expand. It’s called the comfort zone. We all have it. Most of us are willing to do just about anything to stay in it.  Why is that?

Fear

We stay in our comfort zone because we’ve learned that the feeling of fear is uncomfortable and must be avoided.

That just isn’t so.  No one has ever perished from fear itself.

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4 Levels Of Listening – Part 2

4 Levels Of Listening – Part 2

Business Leadership Personal Growth self development

In part 1 of this blog, I explained that there are 4 levels of listening and that listening is a lost art in our fast-paced, whats-in-it-for-me world. We talked about the first 2 levels of listening.  In this blog post, we’ll explore Levels 3 and 4 of effective listening.

Level 1 listening is when all your focus is on yourself when you’re listening to another.  And Level 2 listening is when all your focus is on the other person when you’re listening.  Usually level 2 is a better form of listening however there is a time and place for level 1 listening now and again.

Level 3 listening is when it’s all about the space in-between.  We call it the system or the relationship between the two or more people. And we see that system as a third entity that has a voice and needs and wants.  So listening at level 3 is listening to what’s in the system?  What is the relationship saying? What does it want, or need?  When we tune in at this level of listening, we tap into the wisdom of the system, which the members of the system are usually unaware of.  In some ways this is like extrapolating from the sum of what everyone in the system is saying.

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4 Levels of Listening

4 Levels of Listening

Business Leadership Personal Growth self development

I am a trained listener and what I’ve noticed is that listening is a missing skill in our social, educational and business training, and it has a huge impact on how we show up in the world as leaders. But, did you know that there are actually 4 levels of listening? In this blog post, we’ll talk about the first two levels.

When we listen to another human being, and I mean really listen, the I’m-all-ears kind of listening, we are giving a beautiful gift to another.  We’re allowing them to be witnessed, and to be heard.

When I hear “Thanks for listening” I know that I’ve been there for someone, to support, absorb, and allow them to say what needed to be said.

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3 Principles to Help Increase Your Bouncebackability

3 Principles to Help Increase Your Bouncebackability

Business Leadership Personal Growth self development

Yes, it seems that the world is going to hell in a hand basket. And – we don’t have to go crazy along with it!  With change occurring faster around us, and the frequency and intensity of unexpected events increasing, we’ve never before needed to be able to bounce back more quickly than we do now.  So, here are the 3 principles of bouncebackability to get you on your feet faster after a setback:

  1. Change the way you think about failure or crisis.  Our society raises us to believe that failure is a very bad thing; that it should be avoided at all cost, lest we be ridiculed and ostracized.  And yet there are so many examples of famous people who failed so very many times but we only hear about the eventual success they had.  It was said that Thomas Edison failed more than 1000 times while inventing the light bulb, and to this he commented, “I have not failed 1,000 times. I have successfully discovered 1,000 ways to NOT make a light bulb.” The key here is that failure is learning, and what a wonderful thing!  The same is true of crisis.  The universe doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle.  And this experience, no matter how frenzied and chaotic, presents massive learning for you, if you choose to see it.
  2. Manage your emotions.  It’s important to know that it is normal to feel negative emotions with a setback, and with the right emotional processing system, you can move through those emotions quickly and effectively to get to rebound. The system we teach in the Rock-Solid Foundation program is simple.  Notice it, feel it, express it, learn from it and move on. You get to have your emotions.  It’s a basic human right. Use your emotions wisely.
  3. Get the learning. I have already alluded to this in the first two points, and I can’t stress it enough. The fastest way to move yourself through a setback is to get the learning from it.  Every experience we have gives us learning, and our emotions are the guidance system to what the learning might be.  If we feel angry, then there is a boundary to be set or a corrective measure to be taken, for example.

It’s humanly impossible to go through life without setbacks, so why do we set this unrealistic standard for ourselves?

I challenge you to embrace the setbacks, challenges and failures and use your emotional guidance systems to acquire the learning.  Happy bouncing!

Share your thoughts with me right here on the blog. Don’t forget to leave a link back to your own blog too if you have one via the commentluv feature here on the site.

Until next time, be resilient.

Sue

 

What in the World is Resilience?

What in the World is Resilience?

Business Leadership Personal Growth self development

I’ve been talking about resilience for a few years now because I’m pretty passionate about it.  In fact, I believe it’s the single most important leadership competency that you can develop in this day and age of unprecedented change and unpredictability. But, what in the world is resilience?

I work with resilience in several contexts, such as lifestyle resilience and community resilience, but what I will focus on here is leadership resilience.

First, some definitions…  Resilience is the capacity to withstand, adapt, rebound and transform as necessary in the face of unexpected or disruptive events.  Anyone who’s been in or around the military will be familiar with this motto: Improvise – Adapt – Overcome.  It’s a great resilience rally cry. Or how about the slogan from the Survivor TV series: Outwit, Outplay, Outlast.

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