We all have issues, right? Who doesn’t? If you’ve been trying to move past an issue that’s bogging you down, and you’re trying to make changes, but they never stick, then this is for you.
That issue that you’re wanting to address is almost certainly not the problem. It may not even be the issue, because it’s actually the symptom of an issue. So how do you get to the root so you can resolve it for good?
Imagine what it’s like to hit a road block in your life and to effortlessly decipher the cause and then shift it so that it’s supporting you rather than hindering you.
A woman named Sara was having trouble moving forward with things. She was drowning with the weight of her responsibilities. She was falling further and further behind and couldn’t seem to get traction on her own projects and goals. With the help of a trained professional, Sara was able to see that her procrastination was a symptom of being overworked and overwhelmed (the issue). And the real problem was that she didn’t feel she was doing enough and didn’t feel loved. There was a behavioural pattern that she hadn’t see before, because it was unconscious, that was fulfilling some deeply rooted limiting beliefs around unworthiness and causing her to take on impossible amounts of work and responsibilities.
I’m going to show you how to pinpoint the Problem you want to change, reveal the Pattern that keeps repeating in your life, and decipher the Purpose of the problem so that you can take action that prevents it from recurring. There’s a worksheet that you can use for this over on the Sparks page here.
Sara was overworked, overwhelmed, and felt like a hamster on a wheel getting no where fast and was exhausted all the time. She was extremely frustrated with herself and her self-esteem was suffering. She’d been a high-performer most of her life, and appeared successful to those that knew her, but she was not progressing on the things that really mattered to her and she was burning the candle at both ends.
First, let me share a key piece of information about the unconscious mind. You can think of it as the right brain. It is responsible for keeping the body safe and it controls all your autonomic functions. It will take the initiative to get our needs met, for example it will make us faint if we are cut and are losing blood, because lying horizontally will slow the blood flow. Your unconscious mind is looking out for you 24/7 and is awaiting clear, consistent instruction from you. It is eager to help.
So, go ahead and ask your unconscious mind to help you uncover new insights today about your problems. Then thank it!
Remember to grab the worksheet over on the Sparks page here.
We all have them. Problems. Some are relatively new; some have been with us a lifetime.
Think of a problem you have right now. What exactly is the problem?
Here are some possibilities…
Stress, unhappy, overworked, anxiety, health issue, can’t find love or the love you have isn’t working, hate your job, worried about the future, crises with your loved ones, unfulfilled, not having fun anymore, stuck, overwhelmed, parents driving you nuts, chronic pain, losing friendships…
Got it? Good. I can guarantee to you that whatever is it, that is not the real problem. It’s a symptom of the problem and there is something deeper.
To start digging, ask yourself “How is that a problem?”. Write your answer down and then ask yourself about that answer… “How is that a problem?”. Do this at least 4 times and keep going until you reach the bottom layer.
How long have you had this problem? A week? A few months? 5 years? 30 years? Take a moment to notice all the ways that this problem has happened before in your life.
Ask yourself: “What is this an example of in my life?” Another way to say it is “What is the theme of this/these problems?” Think about how this problem has been repeating in your life, maybe in different areas of your life, with different nuances or with different people.
A Pattern is when a similar behaviour is repeated, and you get a similar outcome or result. For Sara, the Problem was overworked, and the Pattern was the inability to say no to coworkers, bosses, family, friends.
This is the fun part.
There’s something else I didn’t tell you about the UM that is relevant here: It will always make sure you get your needs met with or without your conscious permission. Your unique set of core needs is established very early in life. We all share the basic needs of food, water, shelter, touch, and we each have our own unique needs such as recognition, adventure, or independence.
If you don’t get your needs met consciously, your UM will step in and do it and when the unconscious mind gets your needs met, it takes the quickest route to do that. It’s not always the healthiest or best route for you. It just says – how can we get the need met fast?
The question we ask here is “What is the job of the behaviour pattern?”
For Sara, her Pattern of saying yes to everybody was the only way she knew how to get love and approval, from a very early age. She learned very young in her very large family that pleasing others was the way to be loved. She never learned to say no. And the pattern continued her whole life.
The bottom line is your problem is doing a job; your problem has a purpose. That purposed served you at the time that the pattern was created but it is no longer serving you and needs to be interrupted.
Ask the deepest part of your knowing, your unconscious mind, what the purpose of your problem or pattern is?
Every unwanted behaviour is driven by a positive intent. This is why our problems persist. The problem is benefiting us in some twisted way. Once you figure out the pay-off of the problem (as Dr Phil would say), then you’ve arrived at the root.
Once we understand the Problem | Pattern | Purpose that’s at work, then we have uncovered the unconscious programming that has been running and why it’s running.
Knowing the job of the problem, or the need that is being met by the problem, allows us to also identify the limiting beliefs that are driving your unwanted behaviour.
Sara’s problem of being overworked was meeting her needs for love and approval.
Of course, we would prefer to get our needs met consciously – that means knowing what our core needs are and consciously making choices and behaving in a way to meet those needs.
Going forward you need to create new habits and behaviours in order to meet your core needs consciously AND healthily.
INTERRUPTING THE PATTERN
This leaves us with the task of interrupting that often life-long pattern and there are many ways to do that. Sometimes, simply becoming aware of it can be enough to allow you to let it go. More often, direct intervention is needed, either at the unconscious and/or energetic levels.
Did you have some trouble getting to the root of your problem today. It’s difficult for us to look objectively at ourselves at these deep levels of our psyche. I offer a Blind Spots to True Nature Activation that gets to the real root of the problem and sets you up for the transformation process with a True Nature Activation. We spend a half day uncovering the deep structure of the problem so we can reveal the unconscious programming that’s keeping you from what you want. And then we initiate the change process with an activation. If you’d like to know more, just book an exploratory conversation with me.
This problem that you’re thinking about… is it a problem or an opportunity for personal growth and evolution?
Leave a comment. I’d love to hear.
Until next time,